Winds of Change Narrative & Song Samples
01) Retrospect: Winds of Change
I've heard it said that when man makes a plan God laughs. We don't know what the future holds in store for us. Things happen over which we are powerless. Ancient cultures thought these twists of fate were carried on the wind. They believed the wind was the breath of God, bringing good fortune here, disaster there, and touching all living things in its path, turning them in a new direction, changing what will be. Love comes into our life like a cool refreshing breeze, soothing and gentle.
At first, it seems nothing could go wrong, but somewhere along the line it does. Then love is like the raging wind as it screams past, smothering with the coldness of winter, hiding the breath of spring, sweeping away the illusions and knocking us down to the ground.
02) Initial Attraction: White Knight
When we look back things seem so clear and simple. Yet they were not clear and simple to us at the time. We look at who we were compared to who we are and it's hard to understand how we got from there to here.
Like so many woman, I grew up with the myths that the way for a woman to be happy is to find her knight in shining armor, her white knight. I believed someone would come along and rescue me, prove my worth by loving me perfectly, and I would be happy ever after.
Then one day I met someone I thought was that white knight. I knew I was in love without considering just what love is. I looked outside myself for approval instead of looking within, not understanding that before we can truly love someone else with a nurturing love, we must learn to love ourselves.
03) Infatuation: Like Crazy
My mother told me to look for the good in people. I took that a step further. I remember telling a friend one day:
"Everyone has good points, right? It's all in the way you look at it. If you want to love someone, you just look for all their good points and ignore the bad. If you don't want to, then you look for their bad points.".
I actually believed that then, but now I know it never works to deny to yourself a part of the total person. Love accepts, not ignores. It was so nice to have someone who cared about me and wanted to make me happy. He was what I looked forward to every day and he was the last thing on my mind at night. And, Like Crazy, I loved him.
04) Committment: It's Mine
There are many wrong reasons to get married: security, companionship, fear of being alone, or just because it's expected. My reasons were all the above, plus raging hormones coupled with the naive belief that once you have sex, you are married in the eyes of God, and can never be with another person, under penalty of Hell.
05) Good Times: Eyes of a Child
The first part of marriage is tough as we adjust to new responsibilities and to living with a mate, but it's exciting too. For me, having my own home and husband to take care of was like being snuggled up in a warm cozy bed with my own warm fuzzy teddy bear. And, after my children were born there were moments of absolute bliss.
06) Disillusionment: Too Many Angry Words
To me it seems the first hurdle in a marriage is that time period when you've gotten used to each other, when things are not fresh and exciting anymore. Your mate doesn't listen to you like he once did; he's not as attentive as he once was, and he's begun to complain about the way you are, like he's trying to change you from what you were when he fell in love with you.
Then, you ask yourself: has he stopped loving you? You begin to question the relationship, to feel like you're doing all the giving, and receiving nothing in return, and you begin to wish you didn't love him. Still, in your heart you know that with a little care it could be good again. You try to communicate your feelings, your need, but he takes it as nagging and that's one more thing he doesn't like about you. You argue. He hurts your feelings with his angry words, so you hurt his and the cycle of inflicting pain for pain begins. At least, that's the way it was for me.
07) Betrayal: Man of the House
When you think of betrayal in a marriage, you usually think about somebody cheating, having an extramarital affair, but there is more than one type of betrayal. Love and honor are a part of that wedding vow too. And treating someone as if they are less than a person is not loving or honoring them. It is betrayal.
08) Indecision: Hey Cinderella
You know in your heart that your relationship could be so good, if only he would open up and set free that wonderful person that you are sure is inside him; if only he would change in the ways you want him to change, or, if only you could change and be the way he wants you to be. You want out of the relationship, but you don't want to give up on it, because you see that perfection in your mind. On top of that there's the fear of being alone and never finding that special someone. You feel so confused you just don't know what to do.
Hey Cinderella, it's time to wake up.
09) Despair: Like a Cave Echoes Sound
Sometimes, it seems, it is necessary to reach a point of total despair. We must hit bottom before we finally become willing to see a situation in its true light and find the strength to make the hard decisions that alter the course of our lives forever.
10) Decision: I've Heard That Song Before
In the midst of despair, when you think you'd rather slit your wrist than continue to live in the same way, the decision makes itself. It comes into your mind and you know that if you are going to keep on living, divorce is the only way out, and you have no other choice but to take it. For me, it was as if I removed myself from my feelings, like I was somewhere else watching myself go through the motions of what I knew I had to do.
11) Final Break: It's Okay to Cry
I believe it is possible to have a loving divorce. You have a mother and a father who once loved each other and children that love and are loved by both. Concern for those children manifests itself in mutual restraint and respect between the parents. Somewhere out there is a couple going through that kind of a divorce. I wanted it. I tried for it, but I didn't get it.
12) Grieving: Where Did Love Go?
Divorce is a great loss that we must grieve. We get through this grief in our own way and as best we can. Looking back, I see that I got through it by disassociating with my emotions for as long as possible, then breaking down into great heartrending episodes of crying. My mate handled it by turning toward liquor and, under that influence, toward violence.
13) Acceptance: First Christmas Without You
Christmas is hard when you first get divorced. It's a family holiday when you are supposed to be so happy. If you are not, you feel compelled to put on a smile and act as if you are. I found myself yearning for past Christmases when we were still a complete family, for being awakened by little ones jumping with excitement and yelling for their Mama and Daddy to come see what Santa brought. I found myself yearning for the good times together as a family that would never be again.
14) Letting Go: The One
I grew up with the idea of self-sacrifice. I believed that to be a loving person I must put other's needs above my own. I remember my parents quoting the passage from the Bible "Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself," but it took me so long to see that it says AS thyself, not ABOVE thyself. I can treat myself with love as I would a loved one. Today, in this moment, I cannot control another person's thoughts or actions, but I can control my own actions, and, with God's help, I can alter my thoughts. I do not know the future; that is in God's hands, but I know there is nothing I can do to change the past. What I can do is learn from it, let it go, and move on.
15) New Beginning: Winds of Change ... Tag
I grew up with the idea of self-sacrifice. I believed that to be a loving person I must put other's needs above my own. I remember my parents quoting the passage from the Bible "Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself," but it took me so long to see that it says AS thyself, not ABOVE thyself. I can treat myself with love as I would a loved one. Today, in this moment, I cannot control another person's thoughts or actions, but I can control my own actions, and, with God's help, I can alter my thoughts. I do not know the future; that is in God's hands, but I know there is nothing I can do to change the past. What I can do is learn from it, let it go and move on.
